Nobody ever said that owning a Corvette or any other really nice car
was going to be easy. Corvette owners are an odd lot. When driving
they do not always take the most traveled paths. For instance did
you ever notice Corvette owners are always looking for the
perfect parking spot. We will not park our pride and joy next to or behind
large trucks, SUV's or mini vans. We tend to seek out places of refuge
in remote corners of large public parking facilities. Corner spots
abutted by light poles and fences are most desirable in the
continuing quest of keeping other vehicles as far away as possible.
Every Vette owner has agonized over the threat of shopping
cart wielding mall moms and their offspring.
These barbarians have
only one aim, to scratch your Corvette.
It seems that no matter how far away we park or how cautious we are
in protecting our cars there is always someone who goes out his or her way
to desecrate the American icon. It is a law of physics that
dictates that if you park in a remote location someone will park right
next to you, even if there are 100 other empty spots closer to the
The question is why do people go out of their way to
place your beloved toy in danger? The first theory is that people are like
sheep, they do not feel comfortable unless they flock around other sheep, or
in this case cars. The average mall mom has no concept of what
they are doing when they park their mini van next to your Corvette and
unleash hell (the kids). Harsh words? I don't give a damn, this is war!
How about the people that hurl empty steel shopping carts. Like ICBM's
they launch these projectiles with pinpoint accuracy at helpless Corvettes.
Is it truly unintentional ignorance, or is it something more
sinister? Can these be the actions of cold, calculating, spiteful people?
You really have to wonder.
Owning a Corvette places you in a very special category.
It is a statement that projects a certain level of success and personal
freedom that most of the population does not enjoy.
You have worked hard for your toy's and deserve them. Owning a Corvette
for most of the American public is only a dream.
When they see you driving your Vette there is a lot of envy and jealousy
because they know that they will never be able to afford such a luxury.
There is also the white trash mentality to contend with.
take great joy in defacing something that they perceive as up scale.
Parking next to pick up trucks or Camaro's with 60 inch wheels
flying confederate flags is done at your own risk.
So what are we to do? Should we keep our Vettes locked up in
climate controlled garages, only taking them out on perfect rainless
summer and fall days? Should we drive them with no intention of ever parking
anywhere? Or should we accept the fact that there will always be a certain
risk in leaving our Corvettes unattended in a strange parking lot. Hey , I once saw an ad for
a portable fence that could erected around your parking spot.
What a target that would be. Red necks would come from miles around,
summoned on hundreds of CB radios, to take a shot at that beauty.
The bottom line is enjoy your toy, drive it you earned the privilege.
Accept the fact that there will always be shit heads out there with
extreme cases of Corvette (success) envy. Don't let them spoil the experience.